Erotic furniture, also known as sex furniture, is any form of furniture that is designed to act as an aid to sexual activity. While almost anything can be used for this purpose, the most common form of furniture employed for sexual activity is the bed, but couches and sofas come a close second.
Specifically designed furniture for erotic purposes can include:
- Devices for spankingand flagellation such as the Berkley Horse
- Sex swingsand fisting slings.
- Sex Gliders
- Devices for using gravity to aid in lovemaking without the use of complicated slings.
- Various types of angled foam wedges or specially designed sex pillows that support various sex positions. Liberator Shapes are an example, as are the ergonomically based Lovebumpers.
- Bondageequipment such as stocks and pillories
- Smotherboxes and other queening stools used for facesitting.
- The Love Chair, a curious chair made of curved tubular steel, articulated in several ways and designed to facilitate otherwise impossible sexual acts. This device was advertised in men's magazines in the mid-1970s, and is seen in at least one of Nina Hartley's Guide to videos, but it is no longer commercially available.
- Sawhorses, which are shaped much like the version used for carpentry, but have a sharpened edge and are primarily sat on to achieve a feeling similar to a crotch rope in bondage.
A chair designed to facilitate threesomes, exhibited in the Sex Machines Museum, Prague.
The British King Edward VII, who was heavily overweight, used a specially constructed "love seat" (siege d'amour ) when he visited the famous brothel, Le Chabanais in Paris. The piece still exists and a replica is exhibited at the Musée de l'Erotisme in Pigalle.
Edward Gorey's The Curious Sofa, (1961), a neo-Victorian pseudo-porno satire consisting of non-illustrations—there's always a potted palm or something in the way. One caption reads "That evening in the library Scylla, one of the guests who had certain anatomical peculiarities, demonstrated the 'Lithuanian Typewriter', assisted by Ronald and Rupert, two remarkably well-set-up young men from the village." The Curious Sofa of the title is approached with some misgivings by the house-party guests at the end.
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Five Main Types of Sex Furniture
- Ramps and Wedges
- Sex Couches
- Tantra Chair
- Toy Mounts
Bonus Features to Look For
As mentioned, not all sex furniture is made the same. Therefore, some of the higher quality pieces have exciting bonus features that other models do not, even when they’re made from the same manufacturer. We’re talking features that put the O-face in “orgasm,” so listen up.
Some of those intriguing “bonus features” include (but certainly are not limited to) the following:
- Toy Holders
Like cupholders but for your dildos and vibrators, these conveniently placed holes securely hold your favorite sex toys for some hands-free humping.
- Removeable and Washable Outer Covers
While your lover may be high maintenance, your sex furniture never should be. Try to find pieces that feature removeable covers and washable materials, especially if you plan to use lots of lube.
- Storage Containers and Travel Gear
Contemporary sex furniture manufacturers understand the importance of portability, which is why some pieces have detachable parts or come with protective zipper bags, sanitizing wipes, material defense sprays and other travel-friendly gear.
PRO TIP: When choosing your sex furniture’s bonus features, be sure to go through the same buyer’s guidelines you used to select a standard piece. However, also consider the fact that not every sex toy in your stash will fit into the furniture’s provided toy holder. Carefully take measurements prior to spending any money or you’ll be sorry.
A 6-Point Buyer’s Guide to Good Sex Furniture:
Picking out the best sex furniture requires more than a brief overview of your options. It takes industry knowledge and tenacity, not to mention an open mind and an even more open wallet. Good sex furniture isn’t cheap, but cheap sex furniture isn’t good. On the other hand, a product’s price isn’t always indicative of its quality.
Let’s face it; this is all about having a good time while busting a nut. To choose the best sex furniture for the type of love life you want to have, use the following six-point buyer’s guide to steer you in the right direction.
- Check Out the Product’s Durability
Try to remember that, like every other product on the modern market, not all sex furniture is made with the same quality standards and attention to detail. The durability of each item varies depending on how you use it, but sex furniture durability is usually based on several factors which include but are not always limited to the following:
- Strength of the material
- Quality of the stitching
- Manufacturing standards
- Density of the internal cushioning (if applicable)
- Roughness of use
- Care and maintenance requirements
Good sex furniture will feature high-quality, breathable materials that are secured tightly or stitched together carefully using industrial strength threads and adhesives. Furthermore, any internal materials are hypoallergenic, resistant to wear and tear, plus easily washed and dried. Any piece of sex furniture that doesn’t have those characteristics is likely a waste of your money.
- Make Sure It’s Sturdy Enough to Take a Pounding
Considering the fact that sex furniture has the express purpose of supporting you and/or your partner’s full body weight while being aggressively thrusted into, making sure it’s sturdy enough for the job is important. Durability is one thing, but a piece of sex furniture that’s wobbly can be unsafe and unpleasurable to say the least.
Determine a product’s stability by factoring in the following:
- Your weight and height
- Your partner’s weight and height
- Where the furniture will be used
- How the furniture will be secured or mounted (if applicable)
- What you plan to do with it
NOTE: A perfectly stable and sturdy piece of sex furniture can quickly become a health and safety hazard if you don’t use it right. Always read the manufacturer’s instructions, even if you think it’s unnecessary.
- Get to Know the Materials Used
You may not think a product’s material is a big deal but it is. Every material looks, feels and behaves differently. Furthermore, certain materials (like latex and phthalates) can be dangerous to those who come in contact with them, especially if they have allergies or skin sensitivities. Most of the time, a list of materials used is provided on the product’s packaging.
Common sex furniture materials include but are not always limited to:
- Patent leather
- Polycarbonate plastic
Keep in mind that the material used on your sex furniture can also affect its durability and stability. For example, something made with satin or silk is difficult to hold onto (and clean, for that matter). Alternatively, a piece of erotic equipment made from cotton or wool will not only function better in rough waters but will also require less energy to maintain. The choice is yours, just be sure to choose wisely.
- Question Its Versatility
A highly versatile piece of sex furniture will bring you lots more pleasure, flexibility, mobility, and stamina than one that has only a few possible positions that it can be manipulated into. Although many people don’t need numerous positions to achieve orgasm, it’s always a good idea to have several options just in case things get wilder than expected. As such, the best sex furniture will twist and fold into several shapes or increase/decrease in size easily.
Take sex pillows, wedges and ramps, for instance. The product’s shape should be one of the first characteristics you examine. Rounded pieces are excellent for those in need of extra comfort in the bedroom, while triangular, square and abstract furniture are pieces more conducive with switching positions because they usually fold into several shapes.
To figure out whether a piece of sex furniture has the versatility you need, carefully consider your intended uses. If you don’t plan on getting too freaky, a square pillow should do fine. If you have mobility issues or physical impairments, rounded pillows help keep you comfortable. However, if your plans are to break a record or complete the Kama Sutra, choose a more abstract piece of furniture for best results.
- Consider Its Intended Purposes
When thinking about your sex furniture’s versatility you considered your own intended uses. However, it’s important to also think about the manufacturer’s intensions when the product was created. If the maker didn’t mean for their sex furniture to be used in a certain way, chances are you won’t have much success when you start experimenting. Regardless of how perverted you might be, always follow the instructions so no one gets hurt.
Considering a product’s intended purposes helps you determine whether it’s of high quality or not. Take a sex pillow for example. It’s supposed to be used as a hip and pelvis elevator, so if it quickly deflates under your lover’s body weight then it’s basically a worthless piece of junk, right? When shopping for sex furniture, ask yourself the following questions:
- Where am I most likely to use this?
- How much exploring and experimentation can I get away with?
- Is it ideal for my average partner?
- Do I need to buy or acquire anything extra to make this thing work?
- Why did the manufacturer design their product this way?
You’re most likely in the market for a good piece of sex furniture because you want to expand your sexual horizons while protecting your body for future excursions, am I right? So, although the product’s durability, stability and materials are all important factors to consider, its intended purposes are perhaps the most crucial. After all, if you use your sex furniture incorrectly it won’t be sturdy or durable, nor will the materials matter.
- Glance at the Price Tag
Since all modern-day products are made differently and every manufacturer has a right to name their price, the cost of high-quality sex furniture varies widely based on where you get it and who you get it from. However, the price tag on a piece of sex furniture shouldn’t ever be your first concern. High-quality isn’t always synonymous with high-priced, nor is economical always synonymous with erroneous.
That’s why you should only glance at the price when shopping for sex furniture (or anything for that matter). The average price of a good piece of erotic equipment can range from a few bucks to a couple hundred. By looking at the cost of various similar products you can more easily compare features to find the best value. There are plenty of fish in the sea, ladies and gentlemen, so don’t be afraid to cast a wide net.References:
Photo Credit: Shirish Suwal