Is bigger better? Sure — if you’re talking about a tub of ice cream. In relation to penis size, not so much.
Size has nothing to do with skill when it comes to sex. BTW, who says sex is all about penetration anyway? Anyone with a dick — real or of the store-bought variety — can stick it in and out of a hole. Big whoop.
All that said, if you want to make more of what you’ve got — whatever that may be — there are some positions that allow for deeper penetration than others. We’ll cover those, plus other tips to help you up your sex game overall.WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY “SMALL”?
Based on the results of the most recent study of over 15,000 people, the average penis length is 3.6 in (9.1 cm) while flaccid and 5.2 in (13.1 cm) while erect.
Worried about how you measure up? Don’t be. While 15,000 may seem like a lot, it’s just a drop in the bucket when you consider that the current global male population is close to 3.9 billion.
Position makes all the difference if deeper penetration is what you’re after. It’s worth keeping in mind that the vagina itself contains a limited number of nerve endings, especially compared to the clitoris. So going deep shouldn’t be your only focus.
Here are some positions to try that will take P-in-V sex to, ahem, a deeper level of pleasure. So, everyone gets a little somethin’, we’re including positions for all skill and comfort levels.A leg up
This position gets legs out of the way for full contact penetration while giving both parties easy access to the clit for maximum pleasure.
To do it, the partner with the vagina lies on their back and drapes one leg over their partner’s shoulder. The penetrating partner straddles the other leg and enters them.
Place a pillow under the hips if needed to help bring the vagina up for easier entry.Doggy style
Doggy style has stood the test of time because it offers up deeper penetration with a sexy view.
The partner with the vagina gets on all fours while their partner kneels and enters them from behind. For an even deeper dive, the person being penetrated should lower their head and chest down onto the bed while arching their back.Vulva on top
Better known as “cowgirl,” this one begins with the partner with the penis lying on their back while the other partner climbs on facing them.
This allows for the deepest penetration and the partner on top can ensure the penis stays in for the whole ride by using a grinding or side-to-side motion instead of just moving up and down.
Bonus: Grinding as close as you can get also shows the clit some simultaneous love.Face to face
A position that gets all your hottest parts touching, allows for some seriously sexy eye contact, and making out? Yes, please!
For this one, the partner with the penis sits on the end of the bed or a chair. The partner with the vagina straddles their lap for entry. Wrap your arms around each other and grind away.Pile driver
Some serious flexibility and a rug or blanket on the floor is required for this advanced move.
To begin, the partner with the vagina lies on their back and swings their legs up and back over their head so their feet are as close to the floor as possible. Next, the partner with the P squats over top and enters them, squatting to thrust in and out.
The angle created by this position shows the front wall of the vagina some major lovin’, which happens to be where the G-spot is located. You’re welcome.If you’re having penis-in-anus sex
A smaller appendage and anal sex is a match made in heaven.
This delicate area is full of highly sensitive nerve endings and some very thin skin. Even a smaller-than-average penis can tear you a new one if you’re not stretched or sufficiently prepped for anal.
Be sure to use a lot of lube and go super slow when trying these moves.Doggy style
This is hands down (ha!) the easiest position for anal penetration and ideal for beginners.
With the receiving partner on all fours, the giver can easily stimulate their partner’s anus using a well-lubed finger before kneeling behind and inserting their penis.Plank
This is a lot like missionary, except the partner being penetrated is on their stomach. The penetrating partner gets into a plank position over top and enters them from behind.
The beauty of this position is that the recipient’s legs are flat on the bed and extended, creating a tight space for the penis to push into. The tightness of the space feels great for the giver, while the recipient’s sure to love that full feeling.Missionary anal
This classic P-in-V position is also very butt-friendly.
If you get the angle just right, stimulating the A-spot is a good possibility. Plus, the receiving partner can reach down and play with their clit at the same time.
To begin, the recipient lies on their back with their knees pulled into their chest. Using a pillow underneath can help raise the bottom even higher.
Next, the partner with the penis positions themselves over their partner, and they both move together to find the best angle for penetration.Seesaw
For the advanced backdoor player, the seesaw position lets the receiver take the lead in thrusting, so they can take it as deep as they want.
The partner doing the penetrating sits on the bed with legs extended and hands behind them for support. Next, the receiving partner sits on their lap facing them and places their hands behind them so their hands are resting on their partner’s legs.Anal pile driver
This is just like the P-in-V pile driver mentioned above, only it’s the anus being penetrated.
To recap: The receiving partner lies on the floor and brings their legs up and over, next to their head. The penetrating partner squats over top and enters, using a squatting motion to thrust in and out.If you’re having oral or erogenous fun
Here are some moves for all skill levels that are worth a whirl, regardless of penis size.Lie back and enjoy
The receiving partner simply lies back with a pillow under their butt and legs apart, and enjoys the feel and the view.
The lucky recipient lies on their back with their knees pulled into their chest, fittingly resembling a turkey ready for a good basting. Their partner then lays belly-down ahead of the spread so they can tongue the clit, cock and balls, or anus with ease.Doggy
Good ol’ doggy style does it again.
The receiver gets on all fours and the giver behind has it all right in their face and ready for cunnilingus or rimming.
You can give someone a BJ in this position, too. Just place a pillow between their legs to prop up your head to get you closer.Open wide
This position is best suited to giving oral to someone with a penis, but with a little tweaking — rather, squatting — you could probably make it work for a vagina or anus, too.
The giver lies on their bed with their neck at the edge and head hanging back. Their partner stands over them, placing their junk over their partner’s open mouth. Teabag, anyone?In your face
The giver lies on their back, and the receiver straddles their face. The receiver can face forward for P or V oral, or turn a cheek to the giver for an anal tongue lashing.69
You either love it or hate it, but the 69 shares the pleasure equally between partners.
One person lies on their back and the other climbs on, facing their partner’s feet so you’re both up close and personal with the other’s genitals.
If anal play is your pleasure, you’ll want to be on top to get the angle right for your partner.
Got mad oral skills and muscle strength? Try a standing 69.Things to keep in mind if you’re less endowed
Sure, the world’s got its share of size queens, but ask most people about their best sex ever and size rarely gets a mention. Chemistry, enthusiasm, and moves are what make an experience memorable.
Here are some dos and don’ts to keep in mind for you next sack sesh if you’re worried about your penis size:
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Based on research, 85 percent of individuals who have a penis overestimate the average size, assuming that everyone else is packing a much bigger piece.
- Do be confident, even if you have to fake it till you make it. Confidence really is sexy, and stressing about your penis size will ruin sex faster than a smaller-than-average penis. Practice confidence-building techniques like positive self-talk to get you there.
- Don’t be afraid to use toys and props. Not because they can “do the job you can’t,” but because different sensations can be fun for all involved. Plus, adding toys makes you look like a confident and skilled badass in the bedroom. So hot!
- Do improve your hip flexibility. This will allow for deeper penetration and make you a master thruster. Use simple hip stretches to limber you up.
Penises come in all shapes and sizes, some smaller than others. Here are some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind if your partner is less endowed:
- Don’t lie. Unless you’re engaging in roleplay, they’ve consented to, lying and acting like they have a big penis can do more harm than good to your relationship and their confidence.
- Do be patient. Penis anxiety is as real as other types of negative body image issues. It may take time for your partner to become comfortable in their own skin and with you.
- Don’t fake it. Faking an O isn’t the solution if it’s just not working for you. You both deserve to have satisfying sex. Experiment with other techniques and communicate openly about what works for you and what doesn’t.
- Don’t ask if it’s in. For obvious reasons, asking if it’s in is a no-no. If you’re really not sure, reach down for a feel to be sure.
A big penis isn’t necessary for earth-shattering sex, but confidence, communication, and a willingness to try new things are.
The key to any great experience is making the most of what you have. Certain positions, focusing on more than just penetration, and using toys can make all the difference.
References and Credits:Average size of penis? (n.d.).
Veale D, et al. (2014). Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 men. DOI:
World population prospects 2019. (2019).
Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST
Written by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst
Photo Credit: Charles Deluvio