Jizzing. Female ejaculation. Making it rain. Tsunami of love. Whatever you call it, chances are you’ve got some Qs about squirting.
So, let’s start by getting the most pressing one out of the way: Yes, it’s real.
Great. Now that you’re ready for a lesson in squirting 101, scroll down.What is it?
“Squirting refers to the expulsion of fluid from folks with vulvas during sex,” certified sex coach Gigi Engle, author of “All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life.”
The fluid — which isn’t pure pee, but rather is a combination of urea, uric acid, and creatinine — is released by the Skene’s gland, which sits at the lower end of the urethra.
Although the terms “female ejaculate” and “squirting” are sometimes used interchangeably, Dr. Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics’ resident sexologist, notes that some people argue that ejaculating and squirting are two different things.
She explains: The Skene’s glands, G-spot, and urethral sponge are all located in roughly the same area of the body.
“Typically, if you stimulate one thing, you likely stimulate them all.” And if you stimulate the Skene’s gland? Sometimes folks with vulvas squirt!What does it feel like?
That’s like asking what an orgasm or sex feels like: Everyone will have a slightly different answer.
According to Engle, “Some people say it feels nothing like an orgasm. While others note that it feels [similar], but slightly different from, an orgasm.”
“It’s intense. Like an extreme release. For me, I orgasm and then if my husband keeps touching my G-spot, then I squirt. It’s not really a similar sensation for me,” says Abby K., 42.
“Due to the pressure on the urethra, some people report feeling like they need to pee right before they squirt,” says Engle.
That’s the case for Joannie N., 29. “Right before it happens, I literally feel like I’m going to wet the bed. While it’s happening it feels like a really wet orgasm,” she says.
For some trans and nonbinary folks, squirting can be really gender-affirming. It is for Hunter C., 23, a transgender man who says, “Squirting feels to me what I imagine jizzing would feel like if I had a penis.”Can everyone do it?
“This is a highly contentious question,” says McDevitt.
Why? Because the studies on squirting — and there’s been a relatively fair amount considering how understudied the bodies of folks with vulvas and sex usually are — have conflicting results.
Scientifically speaking, Engle says it appears that anybody with a vulva has the “mechanics” required to squirt.
“But that doesn’t mean every person with a vulva can or will or does,” she says. Estimates suggest anywhere between 10 and 50 percent of folks with vulvas do.
McDevitt makes an important point: Being able to squirt isn’t “better” than not having the ability.What are the basics?
Squirting typically comes (wink) down to either G-spot stimulation or G-spot stimulation combined with clitoral stimulation.
To make cleanup as easy as possible, start by prepping your surroundings. Lay a few towels down or a waterproof throw on the bed. You can find waterproof throws online.
Another option: Get it on in the bathtub.
“When I masturbate and plan to stimulate my G-spot, I get in the tub so I don’t have to worry about getting everything wet,” says Christine B., 31. Makes sense!
How much fluid you expel varies person to person. Some folks release a teaspoon amount. Others gush. Might as well prep for a super-soaker.
Next, set the mood.
Light candles, put on PartyNextDoor (or whatever’s on your Sexy Time playlist), put your phone on airplane mode, and place the lube and toys within reach.
Finally, when you’re good and turned on, it’s time to give your G-spot and clit some love.HOW TO FIND THE G-SPOT
“The G-spot is located a few inches inside the front vaginal wall,” says McDevitt. If you’re looking for it with your fingers, feel for something slightly spongier.Are some positions better than others?
If you’re looking to explore squirting during partnered sex, any sex act or position that stimulates your G-spot and clit at the same time can work. Below, three to try.Doggy style
If your partner has a penis or dildo, doggy style provides the perfect angle for them to reach the front vaginal wall where the G-spot is.
To give this a try:
- Get on all fours with the penetrating partner positioned on their knees from behind.
- Have your partner stroke shallowly.
- Experiment with widening your knees and dropping to your forearms to alter the angle of penetration.
- Reach your hand between your legs to play with your clit. Or have your partner hold a vibrator against you.
“Manual stimulation is more likely to make someone squirt than penis-in-vagina or dildo-in-vagina intercourse,” according to Engle.
Her recommendation: Have the receiving partner touch their own clit. Or, have the giving partner perform cunnilingus as they finger you.
To give this a try:
- Lie on your back.
- Have your partner position themselves between your legs, using a finger (or three!) to enter you.
- Have them curl their fingers up toward your belly button and move them in a “come hither” motion, experimenting with different amounts of pleasure.
- Touch your clitoris with your fingers or a vibrator. Or have your partner perform oral.
Both experts say that the nonvibrating njoy Pure Wand — which can be used with a partner or by yourself — is particularly well-suited for G-spot play.
To give this a try:
- Lie on your back.
- Using lube, insert the toy and rock it against your front vaginal wall.
- Have your partner touch your clit with their mouth, fingers, or clitoral vibrator.
Find the njoy Pure Wand online.What if you’re trying to make yourself squirt?
You don’t need a partner to squirt. “If you’re someone who squirts, you can definitely make yourself squirt during masturbation,” confirms Engle.Relax
Do what you need to do to switch off your work or family brain.
According to Engle, “If you’re not relaxed, holding yourself back, not in the right mindset, or not giving yourself over to the full sensation, it’s unlikely you’ll be relaxed enough to squirt.”Explore your erogenous zones
You can’t go from go-to-O even in your solo sex life!
Warm-up by touching your neck, ears, inner thigh, lower stomach, and nipples with your fingers, a vibrator, or a sensation toy like the Wartenberg wheel or feather teaser.
“Use whatever stimulation you usually use to get revved up, then touch your clit,” says Engle.
The G-spot becomes more pronounced when you’re aroused, so wait until you’re super turned on to find it.
“While touching your clitoris, use a wand or your fingers to locate your G-spot and massage it,” instructs Engle.
Like other erogenous zones, how and if the G-spot is pleasurable varies person to person.
So if you don’t feel anything or find the sensation annoying, don’t worry! There’s nothing wrong with you.Keep going
Some folks will feel like they need to pee before they squirt. If you feel that way, it’s a sign squirting may be on your horizon.
Stop when you’re done, not because you think you have to pee.Practice, practice, practice
As the cliché goes, practice makes a squirter. Kidding!
But really, whether you squirt or not, continue to explore your body with no expectations.What if you’re trying to make your partner squirt?
Most important: Don’t put pressure on your partner to squirt or make them feel “less than” if they can’t or don’t.
Also, don’t assume penetrative sex is the best way to make it happen. It’s not, according to Engle.
Once you’re in the right mindset, follow these steps:
- Help them relax.
- Engage in a ton of foreplay.
- Stimulate their clit with your mouth, fingers,or a toy.
- As you stroke their clit, find their G-spot with your fingers.
- Apply some pressure to their lower belly with your other hand. This may help them squirt more easily.
- Continue until they ask you to stop.
PSA: Any sexually transmitted infection (STI) that’s transmitted through bodily fluid can be transmitted through the fluid released by squirting. This includes:
To protect yourself, wear a glove or finger condom during manual-genital stimulation, a dental dam if oral stimulation is involved, or an internal or external condom for vaginal or anal penetrative sex.Nothing happening? Don’t worry, it’s not you!
Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes you try forever and experience it for the first time in your 60s.
“There is nothing wrong with not being able to squirt,” says Engle. “Whether you squirt or not, however you experience pleasure is perfectly valid and should be celebrated.”Then what do you do next? Just stop?
Heck no! There’s no reason to stop unless you or your partner are done playing and… want to go get pizza (or something!).
There are P-L-E-N-T-Y of other things you can do if you’re still in the mood.Bottom line:
Exploring whether you squirt can be a fun way to learn more about your body.
Squirting is just one of the (many, many, many) sexy things some bodies do. So if you don’t or haven’t, no big!Reference:
Abby K.(2019). Personal interview.
Christine B.(2019). Personal interview.
Engle (2019). Personal interview.
Hunter C.(2019). Personal interview.
International Society For Sexual Medicine. (2019). Do women ejaculate?
Joannie N.(2019). Personal interview.
McDevitt J. (2019). Personal interview.
Photo Credit: Dainis Graveris