Looking for a therapist can sometimes feel like a needle-in-a-haystack situation: You need someone well-trained, experienced, and effective at treating your particular issues. You need someone who “gets” you and creates a space where you feel safe and supported. And then there’s the whole issue of affordability.

Given the long history of discrimination, health disparities, and “corrective” treatments that have made therapy downright dangerous for LGBTQIA+ folks, finding the right therapist is no small feat. Where do you even begin?

This Q&A may help.

What are my specific goals for therapy?

A good place to start your search is by asking yourself what you want to accomplish in therapy. Clarifying your goals up front can save time and money, and it can help you locate a therapist with the right training.

It’s also important to consider your list of must-haves and deal-breakers:

  • Do you want a therapist with expertise and training in a particular therapy approach, such as affirming cognitive behavioral therapy?
  • Do you want to work with a therapist who has a certain gender identity?
  • Do you want a therapist who is experienced in treating certain conditions, such as PTSD or recovery from sexual assault or abuse?
  • Do you want a therapist who is a member of the LGBTQIA+ community and who may be able to understand some of your experiences firsthand?
  • Would you feel comfortable working with a therapist who isn’t LGBTQIA+ but is an educated and culturally aware ally?
  • Do you want to work with a therapist who shares other aspects of your identity and understands intersectionality?

If you’re not sure what basic knowledge an affirming therapist should have, take a look at the American Psychological Association’s practice guidelines or the list of competencies compiled by the Society for Sexual, Affectional, Intersex, and Gender Expansive Identities (SAIGE).

These lists explain the attitudes, beliefs, and skills a good therapist should have. Reading the lists could help you establish your baseline expectations for how you should be treated in therapy.

Once you’ve defined your goals and outlined the qualities you’d like in a therapist, you can start looking for recommendations.

Whose referral do I trust?

The short answer is that you should gather referrals from people you trust. Friends, colleagues, healthcare professionals, staff at community centers, and people in organizations that specialize in meeting the needs of LBGTQIA+ people are all good resources.

You may find referrals especially valuable if they come from people who know you, who understand the mental health issue you want to address, or who share aspects of your identity that you believe may be central to your therapy.

Beyond my inner circle, are there organizations I can trust to help me locate a therapist?

Nobody is just one identity. Every individual has a personal history, a community of origin, and a here-and-now community, as well as aspects of identity related to gender, sexuality, race, spiritual tradition, economics, education, talents, health issues — you name it. Identity is a complex, beautiful puzzle to piece together.

Here are some places to look for resources that may help you connect with a therapist who fits with your individual needs:

If you’re working, you may want to check with your benefits department to see if there is an employee assistance program with mental health services.

If you’re a part of a faith community that supports the rights of LGBTQIA+ people, you might locate resources and referrals through that organization.

Most colleges and universities also offer mental health counseling to students on campus, or you can ask for a referral at a campus LGBTQIA+ center.

Once I pick a therapist, what kind of background research should I do? 

Once you’ve narrowed your search to several promising leads, it will probably be worth your time to read each therapist’s online profile and any research or writing they’ve published.

Doing this kind of homework up front can give you valuable insight into the therapist’s approach to treatment, guiding philosophies, and communication style.

As you explore your therapist’s individual profile and the website of the practice as a whole, notice whether they specify pronouns. If they do, it’s a good sign that the practice respects gender diversity. You can also look for statements expressing the practice’s commitment to inclusion.

It’s also important to verify the therapist’s credentials with your state’s licensing board. Many states also enable you to search for official complaints or censures on the therapist’s record.

What questions should I ask a therapist when we first meet?

Give yourself permission to ask any question that matters to you. In the week leading up to your appointment, you may want to jot them down so you don’t have to rely on your memory during the initial appointment.

If you’ve had a negative experience in therapy before, you may want to spend some time thinking about what you didn’t like, so you can ask questions to head off a similar experience with your new therapist.

2020 research review found that many LGBTQIA+ people have experienced poor quality mental healthcare in the past because their mental health professionals either didn’t understand their needs or held stigmatizing, heteronormative assumptions and beliefs.

The Human Rights Campaign and Mental Health America have created questions to help you be sure a prospective therapist will be LGBTQIA+ affirming. You can download and print this list of questions to take with you or consider emailing them to a prospective new therapist in advance.

In addition to these important questions, here are some nuts-and-bolts practicalities you may want to address:

  • Is the therapist a provider in your insurance network?
  • How long will it take to get to your therapist’s office from home or work?
  • Does the therapist offer a sliding scale or income-based fee schedule?
  • What’s the appointment cancellation policy?
  • Are the office hours compatible with your work schedule?
  • Does the therapist offer virtual visits?
  • How does the office staff treat you when you call to schedule or reschedule an appointment?

Is online therapy a good option for me?

If you live in an area where the in-person options are slim, or if your schedule doesn’t make it easy to connect with a therapist during regular office hours, telehealth or online therapy might be a good choice.

The COVID-19 pandemic broadened the online options for many kinds of healthcare — and it made lots of people more open to the possibility of working with a healthcare professional on a screen.

The biggest benefit of online counseling is that it expands your choices, allowing you to connect with therapists whose expertise might not be available nearby.

In a 2018 survey conducted in Austria, therapists reported that the number one reason to use online therapy is that it “bridges distances.” The other top benefits: Online therapy is discreet, and it increases your time flexibility.

Recent research has shown that having access to online therapy can be especially important to LGBTQIA+ people in rural areas with fewer resources. The study also revealed that online therapy still needs development when it comes to meeting the needs of LGBTQIA+ clients.

You might want to explore Pride Counseling, a subsidiary of the online therapy platform BetterHelpTalkspace is another popular option. Many practices, such as The Gay Therapy Center, offer both in-person and virtual sessions.

Online therapy might not be a good option for you if:

  • your health insurance plan doesn’t cover online therapy
  • you have a serious mental health condition
  • you are in an emergency situation and you need immediate help
  • you need a psychiatrist who can help you with hormone therapies
  • you want an in-person therapy experience

If you decide to try online therapy, it’s a good idea to read online reviews of the providers you’re considering. While everybody’s experience is unique, reading reviews can save you time and frustration by pointing out drawbacks you might otherwise have to discover on your own.

What if I’ve made a big mistake?

It happens. Your first impression of your new therapist turns out to be wrong, the hoped-for connection doesn’t materialize, or your needs just change. It’s OK to switch therapists if the first one doesn’t work out. You don’t need a reason, ever, to change therapists.

Finding a new therapist after you’ve invested in the relationship certainly isn’t ideal. To reduce disruption and stress, it might be worthwhile to meet with several therapists before you choose one. Many therapists are happy to have a brief phone or online “interview” so you can determine if their experience and style are what you need.

What if I need help right now?

If you’re in immediate danger — if, for example, you’re thinking about harming yourself or someone else, please reach out to a helpline or crisis center like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Contact a trusted friend, family member, or healthcare professional, or consider calling 911 or your local emergency number if you can’t get in touch with them.

There are so many more resources than there used to be, and you are not alone. There are hundreds of trained people all over ready to help.

You can find someone to listen and support you at any of the centers below.

If you need help now

Why is finding an affirming therapist so important?

Your success in therapy is shaped, in large part, by the “therapeutic alliance” between you and your therapist. Research shows that when you and your therapist share a clear understanding of your treatment goals and how you will achieve them, you’re more likely to participate actively in therapy to achieve those goals.

When you feel empathy from your therapist, studies show, you are more likely to find therapy sessions rewarding, successful, and engaging. Researchers say you may feel your therapist is “sharing the emotional load” with you.

This positive connection is especially important for LGBTQIA+ folks pursuing therapy. Discrimination, microaggressions, and health disparities are already part of the daily experience of most LGBTQIA+ people.

When you add the number of people who have been subjected to harmful procedures like conversion “therapy” — a disproven, discredited, and dangerous method — the importance of finding a safe, knowledgeable, and culturally aware therapist becomes even clearer.

What if I need a low-cost or no-cost therapist?

Most health insurance plans cover mental health services. You’ll probably need to contact your benefits administrator or consult your provider network to be sure your therapist is covered.

Medicare and Medicaid both pay for mental health services, too.

If you don’t have health insurance or your deductibles are high, you may also be able to access low-cost or no-cost services through:

Some online therapy providers may be able to connect you to a therapist who offers income-based pricing.

If you are an LGBTQIA+ person trying to leave an abusive relationship, you may be able to free get counseling services and support through a local domestic violence organization. Many offer therapy for children as well.

Bottom line:
Finding an affirming, empathetic therapist can be life changing. Taking these steps could make the process easier for you:
  • Clarify your goals.
  • Identify your deal breakers and must-haves.
  • Gather referrals from people you trust.
  • Leverage LGBTQIA+ organizations in your search.
  • Consider online therapy and support groups.
  • Ask all the questions.
  • Reach out to a helpline if you’re in immediate need.

And last — but definitely not least — keep searching until you find a therapist who meets your needs. Your well-being is worth the effort, intuition, and time you’ll invest.

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Free Online Therapist Resources

Online therapy became increasingly popular in 2020 as people sought professional help to deal with the emotional and mental consequences of the COVID-19 pandemic.

In fact, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported that in just the first few months of 2020, online therapy increased by 50 percent, compared to 2019.

Not only is online therapy far more accessible these days with more therapists turning to online platforms to continue their practice, but it has also proven to help those dealing with isolation, depression, anxiety, and even survivor’s guilt.

Online therapy is not only a great option for those who are unwilling or unable to leave the safety of home, but it’s also a great solution for those juggling multiple responsibilities, such as parenting, teaching, and remote work.

Most health insurance providers now cover online therapy sessions, which can make talking to a professional low-cost and even free, according to American’s Health Insurance Plans (AHIP).

Some Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) also offer free trials and sessions for different online therapy websites, which could help employees gain access to a professional.

Here are Healthline’s picks and discounts of some of the best free online therapy and counseling websites.


eTherapyPro can help you decide if you’re a good candidate for online therapy with a free 3-day trial before you commit to a paid membership.

The service also provides you with anonymity if you desire. You can sign up under a fake name, as the chosen provider will only see your username. Additionally, you can also opt to just text with your therapist to keep your identity completely hidden.

7 Cups

This free online counseling website provides access to trained volunteers who offer non-therapeutic advice. Anyone can sign up for a free membership to 7 Cups, even teenagers who are looking for other (trained) teenagers to lend them listening ears.

However, if you feel like you might need professional help, you can upgrade your membership to give you access to a licensed therapist, who will offer coping mechanisms and a management plan for $150 a month.

Doctor on Demand

Doctor on Demand can provide medical mental health management from the comfort of your home.

This can be especially helpful during the COVID-19 pandemic when people need access to a doctor that will prescribe the necessary medication to treat depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.

One of the best parts about Doctor on Demand is you can also talk to other providers not related to mental health, such as urgent care doctors.


If you’re looking to improve your relationship or marriage, ReGain gives couples and individuals access to therapists and marriage counseling.

Aside from techniques to manage your relationship, ReGain offers discretion and anonymity. However, if you sign up with your partner, all communication between the couple and therapist is visible to all parties — though you may request one-on-one sessions.

ReGain starts at $60 per week, but offers a free 1-week trial.

Therapy Aid

Therapy Aid connects essential workers and their families to support groups and therapists.

This volunteer-based platform works with therapists willing to offer their services pro bono or for a very low cost. When you sign up, you fill out a questionnaire that asks what state you reside in and how much you’re willing to pay for your session (from $0 to $50).


iPrevail not only gives you access to therapists, but to support groups of users going through similar situations as you, all while remaining completely anonymous.

What really makes iPrevail stand out is that they have on-demand lessons about how the mind works to help users understand their thoughts, behaviors, and emotions, and to help them refocus and find inner peace and purpose.

For people who don’t feel comfortable committing to a therapist just yet, Bliss offers eight free sessions that you can complete on your own. Bliss teaches you how to monitor your moods, manage situations, and improve your mental health with different techniques.

You can complete the lessons at any time, so if you’re a busy parent or are juggling responsibilities and only get a break before bed, it can be doable.

What is online therapy?

”Online therapy is an opportunity to meet with your therapist online, using a HIPAA compliant platform,” says Dr. Tracy W. Lowenthal, a licensed clinical psychologist in California. Also known as telemental health, it’s often done over a messaging app, video chat, or even over the phone.

Because online therapy is accessible through an internet connection and a device, Marilyn Denovish, a multidisciplinary therapist, says that “online therapy can be as effective, sometimes even more so, than traditional face-to-face services.”

This is because people might find it easier to open up to a therapist when they can talk to them from the comfort of their home.

What are the benefits of online therapy?

  • Accessibility. Anyone with an internet connection can participate in online therapy.
  • Time efficiency. Online therapy and counseling eliminates travel time between appointments or support group meetings. You can also mold it to your schedule and don’t have to call out sick to work to make it to your appointment.
  • Cost-effectiveness. Online therapy is usually cheaper than in-person visits and most health insurances cover part of the cost.
  • Eliminates geographical barriers. If your ideal therapist resides in another state or country, you can still get treatment with them.
  • Comfort. Some people might find it easier to open up to a therapist when they’re in the privacy and comfort of their own home.
  • Safety. With the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, telehealth eliminates the risk of potential exposure.

Who might be a good candidate for online therapy?

Anyone who is willing to listen, focus, and is committed to bettering their mental health will benefit from online therapy. Studies reveal that people with depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance use disorders can thrive in online therapy.

However, someone with mental health conditions that need more direct management, such as schizophrenia or psychosis, might need immediate, face-to-face intervention. Online therapy may not be beneficial for someone with schizophrenia because it might exacerbate the feeling of being secretly watched.

Tips for finding free online therapists

Finding free online therapists can be as easy as giving your employer’s benefit center a call or doing a quick search online.

Here are a few places that might make finding free online therapy a breeze:

  • Your health insurance provider. With the ongoing pandemic, most health insurances have started to foot the bill of some online therapy platforms. Check with them before settling with a pricey program.
  • Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs). Most employers offer free counseling sessions with the platform of their choice. Don’t be afraid to shoot your benefits center or human resource official an email asking if they offer any services.
  • Your local college or university. If you’re a student or a professor, your campus most likely has a counseling center or a social worker that can help you. If the university has a psychology department, they may host free clinics where students can put their skills to the test and help the general public.
  • Mental health organizations. There are several national organizations, like Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) and National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), that can help you find free or low-cost online therapists or resources. These are usually trustworthy resources that they’ve worked with before and that they know can help you with your situation.

Bottom Line:
Managing your mental health doesn’t have to be time consuming or expensive.
There are various online therapy platforms that can help you find support groups or licensed therapists, who can teach you how to manage anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other mental health concerns for free.

Explore options for tailored, online care from BetterHelp:

Best for an experience like traditional therapy

  • Largest network of licensed therapists 
  • Personalized counselor-matching 
  • Texts, calls, or video chats available
  • $60 to $90 per week

Get 20% off your first month 

Best for comprehensive relationship support

  • Specialized relationship counseling
  • Available for individuals or partners
  • Weekly live virtual sessions
  • $60 to $90 per week

Get 10% off your first month

Teen Counseling
Best for teen mental health care

  • Judgment-free therapy for ages 13 to 19
  • Private, personalized counseling
  • Texts, calls, or video chats available
  • $60 to $90 per week

Get 10% off your first month

Pride Counseling
Best for LGBTQIA+ mental health care

  • Expertise in experiences with LGBTQIA+ communities 
  • Variety of treatment approaches 
  • Phone, video, and messaging available
  • $60 to $90 per week

Get 10% off your first month

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What is conversion therapy? (n.d.)
Written by Rebecca Joy Stanborough, MFA on March 10, 2021
 Written by Sophia Caraballo on January 15, 2021
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Photo Credit: Sharon McCutcheon

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